The Poe Family: Getting Along.

Nothing wears a mom down quite like your kids not getting along...constantly fighting, at each other's throats, bossing, and tormenting one another... And then there's the whining, the crying, and the yelling...[I admit that the whining, crying and yelling isn't always just from the kids...] I mean, I can deal with a lot of things and keep my cool...[vomit, snot, poop in the bathtub...] But when the kids start at each other and won't stop...I lose it! I'm not always proud of the way I react...much of the time it's counterproductive. You know, angrily screaming at your kids to stop...uhm...angrily screaming at each other. You see my point? In fact, I often hope that they didn't learn their reactions to anger and frustration from mom and dad... Everyone knows parenting takes a great deal of self control!

The point of this post isn't to vent about "losing it" with my kids....it's really to say that for as much frustration that comes when your kids aren't getting along, there is so much JOY that comes when they do!

Jake and Em have always had their good and bad moments...Jake being the older brother likes to be "in charge" [aka.. bossy]. He also likes to play the role of "teacher" which dovetails with "bossy". But Em is a strong-willed little girl and doesn't take being bossed lightly. So they have their tense moments. But they play really well together too.

Bringing Desi into the mix really shook things up for Emily. I've blogged about their "developing" relationship before. The thing is, when Ryan and I decided to adopt we didn't discard how it would affect Jake and Em, but we knew that even though it would be an adjustment for them, it's what God wanted for our family. [at the time we were also not planning on bringing home a child only 15 months younger than Em. We were thinking it would be an infant...totally different situation.] As much as we tried to prepare Emily that another little sister was coming to our family, and as much as she tried to understand and be okay with it, she just didn't know how this was going to rock her world!

The last couple of months have been a struggle for Em. Desi is also a strong willed little girl. I'm pretty sure that they both fancy themselves as the Queen Bee. [what they don't know is that mamma is the only Queen Bee in this hive!] So there's been a lot of competition for attention...especially my attention. But in the last several days, I think I'm noticing that things are really starting to change a little bit. For one, Desi never wanted to give or receive bedtime hugs and kisses from Emily [can't really blame her...Em had made her feelings about Desi crystal clear!] But now, she loves to kiss and hug on her big sister! I'm also catching them playing together more. It makes my heart so happy!

I never wanted to rock Emily's world. She is my joy! I love her like crazy! It's been hard to see her struggle. I want her to spend her days happy! That compounds the joy and relief that I feel to see her open her heart to her new sister and start to welcome her into her family!

We still have plenty of those tense moments that wear me down. But I need to learn to build my strength back up in the moments when the 3 of them are outside playing together or when I can hear them giggling and laughing together. Moments like these....