Oh Joy! We Have New Friends!

The world has a funny way of getting really small sometimes. And of course, the internet and sites like Facebook [which I love and am obsessed with] keep my world nice and small and I like it that way! But this post is not about social networking...

Another world-shrinker would have to be adoption. I mean, before we adopted I felt like we knew very few people who had done it and now? It's like everyone we know is adopting! We also know a lot of families who are doing Ethiopian and African adoptions which is great since we really want Desi to have friends who she can relate to and share her adoption experience with. And it looks like she's going to have plenty of friends just like that! [not to mention a couple of solid prospects for a future husband!]

I think it's incredibly amazing that Desi's crib-mate at the orphanage in Addis was adopted by our good friends, the Fousts! And now she gets to grow up with this little cutie!

This week we made a new friend...make that, new friends. This new friendship came about after my world started shrinking and shrinking and shrinking! Here's how it went...

After we were about a year into our adoption process I found out that one of my good friends, Ali, from my hometown in Missouri was also adopting from Ethiopia. We were using Bethany Christian Services, they were using Holt. We traveled to get Desi in late July, they traveled to get their little guy in late August. At some point Ali had told me that there was a family from our area that was in her travel group....

Well, not long after I got home I got a message from a work colleague who knew of our adoption. He said that his wife had a friend who had recently returned from picking up her son from Ethiopia and he wanted to pass along my info...I said, sure! All I knew was that her name was Joy and she had my info.

The wheels in my brain started turning and I wondered..."what if this could be the same person that Ali knows?" so I emailed Ali and asked if her travel cohort was named Joy. Wouldn't you know? It was! This had to be the same person. Small world, eh? I still didn't have Joy's info but I was hoping that she would contact me. What a crazy coincidence!

Some time passed and I hadn't yet heard from this Joy. So one day I show up at my dentist appointment and my friend, Shannon, is there. She just stopped by to see her mom who works in the dentist's office. We are chatting for several minutes before the receptionist interrupts us and asks me if I think that I have an appointment. I'm like, "uh, yeah." She checks....I'm a week early!! I'm not suppose to be there. Before I go, Shannon tells me that she has a friend in her Bible study who recently adopted from Ethiopia and that she told her about me. I say, "Is her name Joy?" and she tells me it is! I'm like, "seriously! This girl just keeps dropping on my radar! I have to meet her! I think it's meant to be!"

When I got home I emailed Ali and told her I needed Joy's info because I was going to contact her! I had to! Well, I got in touch with her and found out that she had been having the same situation where people were telling her about this girl named Shannon who adopted a little girl from Ethiopia....isn't it hilarious?!

We finally got to get together last week and it was so fun! Since it was the snow week from hell I had to take all 3 of my kids to her house! [I was a little worried that we might not get invited back! after a whole week stuck in the house together the kids were starting to act like wild animals! They did great, by the way] Turns out that Joy has 3 kids herself and they were each one perfectly matched to my kids so everyone had a playmate for the play date!

[side note: Joy has an awesome play room! My kids were in Heaven!]

Her little guy is so sweet and handsome!

I'm looking forward to lots of fun dates with this crew!

I think I might be going crazy!

...like thinking about doing something that will surely get me in big trouble with myself!

I got this idea in my head. An idea that I have already promised myself I should not and would not entertain! But here I am...thinking about it and I've already acted on it! I want to say, "stop it!! just don't ever do it again! Let it go!" And yet, I can't.

The idea?? The horrible horrible idea???

[I'd love to know what you THINK it is....]

Well here it is..."hey, I think that I might be able to potty train Desi. I mean, sure, she's only just turned 2 (so we think) and according to adoption professionals she really more like a 6 month old to us...and she can't speak English, and I don't actually know how much English she understands, and there are those other issues [the ones that haven't made it to the blog yet...]. But she's smart and I think that if she would just go on the potty a couple of times she'd really get it! Yes, I think I can and should attempt to potty train Desi..."

Go ahead and say it...."what are you thinking, Shannon?!" Ryan has already tried to convince me that it is a bad idea. I don't actually need convincing that the idea itself is bad. I know this. I need convincing to STOP TRYING TO POTTY TRAIN HER!

So, if you know me, then you know that I am not a potty trainer. I tried to train Jake and it was a disaster. I gave up and waited. He figured it out on his own and he wasn't 5 or anything. [39 months in case you were wondering and I can count on 1 hand how many poop-in-the-underpants moments I've had to endure.] So I'm not really much for the try-it-before-they're-ready method. In fact, I follow more in the school of "I'd rather just change a diaper a few times a day than have to worry about my furniture, carpet, clothes, etc. getting pooped and pee'd on."

I didn't potty train Emily either. She learned it on her own, or maybe big brother inspired her. She was barely more than 2 when she figured it out! So, I've had it pretty good. Maybe that is why I'm being such a fool about this...I don't really know how bad potty trainging can be! Maybe I'm in denial.

I have myself convinced that if I can just get her to poop on the potty a couple of times then she'll just figure it out and start doing it on her own. But in order for her to poop on the potty, I have to get her on there at just the right time. And how on earth do I know when she's about to poop? The best clue I have is that after she poops she grabs her diaper and says, "stinky". But it's too late by then. So what do I do??? I stalk her. For the last 2 days I've been following her around hounding her about not pooping in her diaper and asking her if she needs to "make a stinky??" I've also tried sitting her on the potty in the morning and after nap to hopefully catch her at just the right moment...which really means that the poor kid has to sit on the potty when she doesn't have to go...

Here's the other problem...she's super stealthy about pooping. She makes no faces, no "going off by herself" no grunting, NOTHING. She's just playing and carrying on as usual and then BAM, your nose lets you know that she's done it. This is something I am not used to. Jake and Em made epic drama every time they pooped! Case-In-Point...

Just look at this adorable picture of Emily. Awww....how cute! She's doing a push up! Is she trying to crawl??

No! She is pooping! They would cry and grunt and push for like 30 minutes [and believe me, I'm kicking myself for not buying stock in Miralax when she was born...] I had tons of time to get them to the potty, no problem!

But not with Desi. The other evening I had spent quite some time sitting in the bathroom with her on the potty. We played peek-a-boo and patty cake until I was bored to tears and my bum wa numb from sitting on the side of the tub. Finally I had to make dinner so I got her down. We would try again after dinner. I hadn't even cleared the dishes before Ryan's telling me that at some point during the meal she pooped her diaper! What??? Are you kidding me??? All that time in the bathroom and she poops in her diaper at the dinner table!! NO WAY.

We did a couple of small victories. When I got her up from her nap and her diaper was dry I put her on the potty and after a while [by the way, she doesn't seem to mind being on the potty....I think I could leave her there for hours and she wouldn't fuss...don't worry, that's not the plan.] she pee'd! I clapped and cheered. And a couple of days ago she was on there long enough to get a little poopoo out! [claps and cheers again]....although about an hour or so later she finished that one in the diaper...sigh.

So here I am. I feel like on one shoulder is a little mini-shan saying, "just stop. It's too early. it's not going to work! You are going to get yourself in trouble! NOT WORTH IT!" But on the other shoulder is another mini-me saying "she's smart. she'll get it. just try for a little longer. It will be SO worth it!"

What to do? WHAT. TO. DO?